The Mask

"I show you the mask because you need me to be strong,
I show you the mask to act like nothing is wrong.
The mask is there to serve as my shield,
to keep me from having to show what I feel.
As time goes by the mask becomes normal,
but while the outside is calm inside is turmoil.
The mask makes me numb to the emotion and pain,
the fear, the anger and the feelings of shame.
I know that you love me no matter what,
but lately these days this mask is my crutch.
I have to remove it and show what's inside,
I don't want to wear it til the day that I die."
Ronald Boos Jr 2010

This is to my family and friends that have helped me without even knowing it. The poem is not very good but it is a description of the mindset that I have been able to leave behind me over the past two years with all of your help. I'm extremely grateful to you all for pulling me through.

Happy Birthday Ruth

The winter solstice is the shortest day of the year, when the sun is the lowest point in the sky. Many cultures around the world hold celebrations and gatherings on this day to help ward off the dark and depressing feelings that winter brings about.

I never had that problem though because God sent me my winter solstice gift in the form of my Momma Ruth. It's ironic that a person who was so full of life and radiated the way that she did was born on the darkest day of the year. When I was growing up, Ruth was always there during my darkest times to warm me with her smile and ward off depressing feelings. Some days I miss her so much it hurts, and I have needed her smile more than once this past year, but the memories that I have of her are good enough to get me through.

If you had the priviledge to know her please take time today to remember her life and give thanks that we were blessed with her presence.

I Love You Ruth

Ramblin Man

So today is my first "Official" blog I guess. Not really sure how to put onto "paper" everything I'm thinking, I find it hard to speak everything I'm thinking. I have seen blogs that give great accounts of everyday life as well as fantasticly elaborate voyages into the worlds of minor details and the mundane.

As my title may elude I intend to ramble. It's hot, I'm bored, yesterday was a fantastic day, there's a coffee mug sitting in front of me. I might Ramble from one subject to another and possibly even back again. Sometimes I will have a solid, coherent thought. That however will be the exception not the rule. If you wish to take this ride with me you're more than welcome to tag along. You may become a rambler yourself.